God’s best.

I’ve been torn between wanting to write novels about Caleb and wanting to keep him and I off of social media to protect my peace in this relationship.

He has made me feel so safe and secure in this, and I am going to meet myself in the middle and instead write a blog post. (It was too long for an Instagram caption and so many people have asked me about him so here’s an intro to the man in my photos.) 💛

25 facts about Caleb and I.

1. He opens my door every time I get in and out of his car. Always says, “my lady”.

2. He brought me my favorite wine (which is hard to find to buy and I only mentioned once briefly on the phone) the first time he came to visit me. This was the night of our second date. He sang for me that night, it was a song he wrote a couple years ago, for his future wife. We were sitting on my bed and he was playing guitar and singing to me and I cried.

3. He prayed at dinner that same night. And he prays before every meal with me.

4. I found him on bumble. (LOL.) His bio was about Jesus and coffee and I messaged him (because girls have to message first on that app) and our conversation expired before he replied. I was bummed but then a couple days later I got a Facebook message from him, saying that he went to reply  but it expired and he thought he’d try to find me because I seemed pretty excited to find a guy who loves Jesus on Bumble. After I messaged him back, he deleted the app. No games were played with my heart ever, and I never had to worry about him talking to other girls. He messaged me every day persistently on Facebook until we finally met up 8 days later.

5. He waited 3 dates to kiss me.

6. On Valentine’s Day I woke up and he had made me coffee already, just a cup for me. None for himself. (He was a barista so he makes gooood coffee.☕️)

7. He’s writing a song about me.

8. He has my nickname in his phone as “God’s beautiful daughter”. He showed it to me on our second date and said, “I put that in there the day I got your number.”

9. He doesn’t shy away from the messy, hurting parts of my heart. He listens and loves and encourages me to deal with my brokenness and to find healing from my past hurt.

10. He really wants what’s best for me and always shows it. Consistently encouraging and assisting me to be the most Christ-like I can be.

11. We talked on the phone for the first time 2 days before our first date. The phone call lasted 4 hours. This is when he told me he deleted Bumble. He told me, “I deleted it because I like you.” I said, “…that was forward of you.” Lol.

12. My family, mom, dad, brother, and sister in law all approve.

13. I almost cancelled our first date because I didn’t think I was ready to meet my one. He met me in my lowest season and loved me fearlessly and pursued my heart in a way I never thought I’d ever experience.

14. On our first date, we got coffee (2 coffees each), had really great conversation, he played piano for me, we walked around town and window shopped, then he took me to a bridge and danced with me with no music. I literally could not believe he was real.

15. He told me he wanted to say he loved me two days after our first date. I said no and told him not yet. 😂 He told me a week later. But it didn’t matter if he said it, though. I knew he did by how he treated me.

16. He works full time at a church as a production audio coordinator.

17. He loves Jesus more than he loves me. And he loves how much I love Jesus. When he tells me why he loves me, my heart for Jesus is always number 1.

18. We are long distance and he offered to drive to me and drove to me the first two times. (Ladies, you deserve to be pursued.)

19. He calls me beautiful like it’s my name. At least 10 times a day (some days it’s closer to 50 times a day) and I never get sick of it.

20. I’m his first girlfriend. (I know. What. How.)

21. He honors and respects my body and desires purity with me. He didn’t compliment me about my looks for first week we messaged, just made conversation. He first did when we talked on the phone that first night. He said, “Hey, I think you’re cute. I haven’t told you that yet, but I do.” And he sets physical boundaries and doesn’t ever try to cross them with me. He understands and values the importance of intimacy in context of marriage.

22. He knows when to let me cry and when to give advice. And always gives biblical advice that is God honoring. Which isn’t always what I want to hear, but what I NEED to hear.

23. He tips well. (This is important.)

24. He is so intentional and kind and compassionate and his heart is huge. He genuinely cares and it shows in everything he does.

25. Last but not least, he is me in a guy. Our stories are so similar. We both have obnoxious laughs. We both accepted Christ as our Savior the same year. We both struggled terribly with depression in 2016, in the same months. I got my semicolon tattoo on his birthday that year.

He loves Jesus. He loves worship. He loves coffee. He wants marriage and babies and he loves singing with me. He plays guitar, bass, piano, drums, sings, records music, has a studio.

So, yeah. He’s pretty great. It’s important to voice that my joy comes from Jesus and that is the greatest blessing. Caleb is charming and he amazes me daily. But he isn’t the One who will never fail me, he isn’t the One who’s love will never let me down. He is human, he is flawed. Caleb didn’t save me, but he came along when I was struggling and pointed me towards Jesus and he holds my hand and is patient and kind and prays for me and with me and he brings out the best in me. He brings out the good in me, the God in me. Finding someone who shares that love for the Lord and wants to pursue holiness along side of me and join in on this crazy journey of life with me has been such a blessing, but not the biggest blessing. The cross was the biggest blessing. Jesus is the biggest blessing.

The one thing that I’ve been praying for is a man who would love me like Christ loves the church and who leads me closer to the cross, instead of closer to sin. It makes my heart jump for joy that I have found just that. God is so good and I am so undeserving of a love that is so constant and so consistent and so much like Jesus’ love for me. I am so thankful.

If you read all that, thanks for your time, sorry if it was too disgusting and sappy.

And overall, my advice is do not settle for less than God’s best.

God’s got your person out there who only makes you better and who has the same goals as you and who will love you always, in a selfless, lay down their life kind of way.

You deserve a love that you never have to question.